The five types of men: Which one are you?

There are five categories of men you're likely to encounter while dating. Picture: Thinkstock

Now, I’m not saying all men fall into these categories, but I’m sure all women will agree that there are some familiar characters we just can’t escape. We’ve all dated these guys at least once. And we probably wouldn’t want to again. Any of these sound familiar? You better read on. And heed my advice. It's for your own good, boys...

The Failed Frontman

The Failed Frontman. Picture: Thinkstock

I’m sure your school band was definitely going to ‘make it’ and learning (What's The Story?) Morning Glory all the way through on guitar made you the hottest guy in year 12. We digged it, dude. But, 15 years on, the closest you’ve come to being Pete Doherty is headlining an open mic night at your local pub and sharing too many spliffs with your 55-year-old landlord. Your hero may be Mick Jagger, but you’re in danger of becoming more like Ned Rocknroll. A man who changed his surname to Rocknroll. Give it up and get a proper job.

The Marrying Kind

The Marrying Kind. Picture: Thinkstock

All your friends are paired off, your Facebook profile consists of pictures of your twin nephews and we were introduced to your parents on date three. It’s great that you know what you want, but make sure the girl you’re dating wants the same thing, otherwise it can be a little scary. Problem is, you actually fall for independent women who you're determined to change into marriage-lovers by your first Valentine's Day. Not going to happen. Next time you meet someone, just enjoy their company for a bit and see where it leads.

The Professional Party Boy

The Professional Party Boy. Picture: Thinkstock
Your business card reads, ‘Events Director’ when, really, all you do is gather those braying girls from the boarding school you know to come to your mate’s club nights. That’s how we met you. And we had an exciting, fun-filled fling which featured a summer in Ibiza. You’re the guy that other guys want to be mates with (because you're rich and get them into clubs) and all the girls fancy, but long-term relationships won’t be easy if you’re out all night every weekend. I mean, I’m all for a party, but in a real relationship there has to be a balance.

The Player

The Player. Picture: Thinkstock

 

All women fall for The Player at some point. You’re charming and confident, with just the right amount of arrogance: a fatal trio of attributes for any unsuspecting female. If you’re young, free and adorable then crack on. But, if you’re pushing 40 and still think game-playing, breaking hearts and even cheating is cool, I’m here to tell you it really isn’t. The lovely girls you discarded are probably happily settled now and you missed out. Maybe it’s time to grow up.

The Older Man

                  The Older Man. Picture: Thinkstock
 

Probably because we took one look at blokes our age and saw a relationship consisting of Pot Noodle-dinners with emotionally stunted man-kids who still insist that skateboards are a viable means of transportation. Then we dated a guy 12 years older and soon realised that no matter how old men are, their emotions are still kind of stunted. They just drive nicer cars.